Life as a Spectator Sport

It's amazingly difficult to send a child to public school these days. I had no idea, not having dealt with the public schools since about 1988. Nick and I stopped at the county high school this morning, birth certificate in hand, certain that more would be required but equally certain that I could come up with whatever they wanted—immunization records, Sylvan test scores—little things like that.

Guess again. What they wanted—what they demanded, in fact—was for me to be Nick's legal guardian. Shelley certainly isn't willing to give up guardianship of her child, and even if she was, it isn't something that can be done lightly or in haste. It requires the filing of legal papers, an appearance of all parties in Juvenile Court, and heaven knows what else. Probably a home study, since Nick is a minor. I don't want anyone to see my home right now—the front porch still has no steps, Nick's bedroom and the living room still have no carpet, Clarence's bedroom is packed to the ceiling with boxes and there are ant baits everywhere.

The whole tone of the interview was offensive, though I'm certain the guidance counsellor didn't intend it to come across that way. She asked me whether his last school would report any kind of attendance or disciplinary problems if she were to ask about them. Phrasing the question that way sounded to me like the cop at a traffic stop: "Ma'am, would I find any weapons or illegal drugs if I were to search your car?"

I replied hesitantly that I wasn't sure about attendance, as he hadn't been living with me at the time. She wrote "Attendance?" on the sheet of paper on which she was making notes, then asked Nick whether he had ever hit another student, or had problems with fighting. Nick answered, after some prodding from me, that he had shoved people away from him when they hit him. She wrote "Displinary issues" on her paper.

Nick is one of those kids who come across as vulnerable to bullying, and I told her that. "But he can't hit back," she said earnestly. "It's important that kids report such behavior to a teacher." I pointed out that teachers can't be everywhere at once, and that bullies always say the other child hit first.

"But when witnesses say one child wasn't at fault," she objected, "we don't punish that child."

I think that's the point at which I gave up on them. Every parent of a bullied child knows the bullies are past masters at hitting, pinching, scratching and shoving without being seen. It does no good for the child to report the behavior; he or she just gets a reputation with the teachers as a troublemaker and with the other kids as a whining tattletale. If the parents get involved, then the child has the additional burden of "troublemaking parents."

Shelley and I are talking about options, but the bottom line is that the school doesn't want Nick unless they have a local legal parent. He would be starting off the school year with a disciplinary question mark against him, and this school appears to have the same prison-lockdown mentality as the last one he attended (where he was given three days of in-school suspension for drinking from the "wrong" water fountain). Home schooling again this year is going to be difficult for me, with my increased work load, but I'd rather do it than see him go through the same garbage he's had to deal with before.

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RSS Feed PERSONAL Send email to liz at life-as-a-spectator-sport.com Home I'm a mother, grandmother, a computer professional, Democrat, Christian. I welcome politely worded comments and email, my spam filter throws the rest away, so don't bother to flame me WHY 'LIFE AS A SPECTATOR SPORT' "If you're lucky not to live in the gutters of a slum, but still can't afford to take vacations in the Alps, you're part of that enormous middle class who lives life through the medium of the television, further separated from "real" life by air conditioner, by automobile, by dishwasher, microwave and ice-in-the-door refrigerator, by automatic washer and dryer, and all the other appliances and conveniences that make it possible for America to live life at second hand. I'm not sure why Americans decided that televised drama was better than the real thing, that cardboard microwave food containers were an adequate substitute for real dishes, and their contents for real food, or that cooking, dishwashing and face-to-face conversation wasn't worth the effort and time it required. Someone fed this nation a plastic crate of out-of-season tomatoes and told us it was life and we took them at their word, and we're so much the poorer for it that it's hard to know where to start to list the shortcomings." I wrote this a couple of years ago, but I have to admit it's much less amusing than I thought it would be to see the artifical construct falling apart. THE NON-ELECTRIC HOME Cleaning, 1 Cleaning, 2 Cleaning, 3 KNITTING BLOGS Extravayarnza Knitting Heretic Mind of Winter Pie Knits Persistent Illusion See Eunny Knit The Keyboard Biologist Taleweaver's Ramblings TECHnitting Wendy Knits FINISHED PROJECTS -------FINISHED IN 2006------- Peruvian Cap Tutti-Frutti Socks Shelley's Socks Carol's Socks -------FINISHED IN 2007------- Chain Link Socks Baby Surprise Jacket Valerie & Friend Baby Bonnet Rainbow Baby Socks Girls Pixie Hood Mitred Square Heart Red & White Socks Coffee Cup Pot Holder Nubbins Dishcloth Garterlac Dishcloth Suede Booties Kate's Socks Norwegian Sweet Baby Cap Half Thumbless Mittens Red Mittens for Akkol -------FINISHED IN 2008------- SELF-RELIANCE AND THE FUTURE -- Blogs and websites -- Causubon's Book Club Orlov Food Storage Made Easy From the Wilderness In the Wake Listening to Katrina Survival Topics The Modern Homestead The Oil Drum Notes from a Hillside Farm -- Mailing Lists -- 12vdc Power Living on the Land Rainwater Refrigeration Alternatives Old Ways of Living POLITICAL BLOGS and SITES The political sites have moved BOOKS I'M READING How to Grow More Vegetables, etc. Small Scale Grain Raising ARCHIVES February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 August 2008 July 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 June 2002 May 2002 April 2002 March 2002 February 2002